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I Attack the Darkness: The Gaming Pedigree
[I Attack the Darkness is a semi-regular feature by tabletop gaming evangelist Erin Palette, who spins words about her love and appreciation for pen and paper RPGs, while waxing poetic about all things devoted to gaming unplugged.]
Hi, my name is Erin Palette, and I’m about to let you sniff my butt.
Got your attention, have I? Good. I despise the typical introductory paragraph where I tell you who I am, the purpose of this column, and what topics I’ll be visiting or avoiding as I write. I prefer to make a big splash at the beginning, frolicking in your confusion and disbelief, and by the time you’ve recovered from my literary flashbang I’ve already made my point and moved on to another topic. In movies and novels this is referred to as In Media Res, which is Latin for “This is how all the Star Wars movies began,” but I prefer to call it guerrilla composition.
Yes, I know big words and I’m not afraid to use them. I also refuse to talk down to you. I will treat each and every one of you as my intellectual equals, and if you don’t understand a word I have faith that you will Google it. You’re supposed to be the hip, techno-literate Internet Generation, after all.
So what does my butt have to do with all this? It’s a metaphor for what I call the Gaming Pedigree: the list of which RPGs a gamer has played, and to a lesser extent, in what order. Just as dogs like to sniff the rear ends of other dogs, I’ve noticed that gamers are more likely to accept another once they’ve sussed out that person’s preferences and experiences. Alas, I have no character sheet with which I can prove my claim to be an CR 18 Gamer, with 10 levels in GM, 5 in Player, and 3 in the Prestige Class Making PCs My Bitches. All I can do is recite my pedigree and hope you will deem me qualified to write a regular column about Role-Playing Games.
My first exposure to RPGs came in 1980. I was seven years old and obsessively listened to The Hobbit on LP. My brother, who was a freshman in high school (and therefore incredibly cool in my eyes), had just gotten for his birthday a series of big hardcover books and funny pieces of plastic. These were, of course, the 1st Edition AD&D books and the required polyhedral dice, and I was immediately enthralled. I begged my brother to teach me to play, whereupon I immediately made a – you guessed it – a halfling thief. I killed some giant rats and found a gold piece in a crack in the wall. I was immediately hooked.
That Christmas, I asked for my own copy of D&D. Keep in mind that I was seven years old. I read those books over and over. I firmly believe that Gary Gygax helped teach me to read; his writing style was dense and he used large words like phylactery and beatific. This was heady stuff for a first-grader. I felt a sense of forbidden glee as I read those words and giggled over the semi-naughty pictures of succubi and whatever the plural of sphinx is. I was reading grown-up stuff. I had become empowered, even though that word had yet to enter the pop-cultural vernacular.
Dungeons & Dragons is a lot like marijuana: just about everyone tries it once in their life, typically in high school or college, and if you get hooked on it you usually move on to the harder stuff. As it turns out, I am a stone-cold addict for this kind of thing, especially since I had been hooked during my formative years.
I tried other games after D&D (though saying “after” is a bit misleading, since I never truly left my first love. My attention has wandered over the years – especially during the 2nd Edition period – but I have always returned. The shiny polyhedral dice and clunky-but-charming rules, they are a siren song to me), sampling the virtues of each:
I went to an engineering school, where large sweaty geeks with equally large graphing calculators taught me Champions. From them, I learned the ways of munchkinism.
I remember the amphetamine rush of Cyberpunk 2020, and the shocking realization that self-destruction was a viable means of character development.
I played Paranoia, and discovered that not only could it be funny to kill your PCs, but it actually took very little encouragement to get them to turn on each other.
I drank deeply of the opium known as Vampire: the Masquerade (that was most of the 90s, in fact), and learned that many players enjoy suffering, and I was happy to become their 10-Sided Dominatrix.
My name is Erin Palette, and I have been a gaming junkie for nearly thirty years. Since 1984 I have played and/or GM’ed every single A-List RPG, and a good chunk of the B- and C-Listers. A quick glance at my bookshelf reveals the following:
* Traveller (both GURPS and original)
* Star Wars (d6 version, from WEG)
* Star Frontiers
* TORG
* Feng Shui
* Legend of the Five Rings
* 7th Sea
* Blue Planet
* Damn near every single book written for the original World of Darkness
* Immortal: the Invisible War (hacked to use White Wolf mechanics)
* In Nomine (ditto)
* Top Secret/S.I.
* Dogs in the Vineyard
* Aberrant/Trinity/Adventure
* Amber Diceless RPG
* Everway
* Heck, I think I even have an old copy of Boot Hill kicking around somewhere.
I am, as you can see, an utter nerd. While most kids were playing Nintendo or Sega or Atari, I was re-reading the Tomb of Horrors. I have made ASCII character sheets using just a text editor. I have taken a figurative chainsaw to nearly every game I have run, altering them like a maniacal Dr. Frankenstein. I have run diceless games with dice, converted dice-based games to run on playing cards, and at one point I even used Magic: the Gathering cards as a task-resolution system for a game of Mage. My d20s all have names; I have enough d4s to build a credible caltrop field; my d12s do not “cry themselves to sleep”; and I have more six-siders than GOD.
I am Erin Palette, a sexy shoeless goddess of geeks, and I invite you to join me as I review, analyze, dissect, and desecrate role-playing games of all stripes. I will show you how kindness is cruelty and sadism is love. I will teach you not to fear the Gaming Police, and demonstrate how to twist a game world to your own nefarious ends. I will discuss how to deal with problem players and how to use basic operant conditioning to get players to make the decisions you want without them even realizing it. Role-playing games are not just simulations or exercises of the imagination; they are first and foremost a psychological tool. Realize this, and not only do you get to play god, you can actually make your players love and fear you as a god.
Come… step into my laboratory, if you dare. It will only hurt for a moment….
February 7th, 2008 at 1:27 am
Thank Jesus someone is covering tabletop games.
I need to know what to make of Alpha and Omega. Is ANYONE doing this?
February 7th, 2008 at 11:44 am
A card-based system for White Wolf?
How did that work?
Better than SAGA did for D&D, I hope.
February 7th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Jeff:
It’s been over 10 years, so I’m slightly fuzzy on how it worked. Please attribute errors to poor memory.
First, I mapped the Spheres of Magick over to the colors of Magic the Gathering:
Correspondence Blue
Entropy Black
Forces Red
Life Green
Matter Artifact(colorless)
Prime White
Of course, with 9 Spheres and 4 (or 5) colors, this meant 3 were left out: Mind, Spirit, and Time. I shunted those into Blue because they made thematic sense and because Time and Spirit, in my experience, are rarely used.
Then I put all of my Magic cards that weren’t being used in decks (I had several long boxes at the time) and shuffled them.
Task resolution went as follows: For each dot you had, you drew a card, but you could only keep ONE. The casting cost of the card is the number of successes you have, with the following addenda:
* A casting cost of “X” counts as zero.
* If you are casting a spell and draw the proper color for it, you gain an additional +1 success.
* Land cards count as one success, unless they are of the proper color as the spell.
The system worked all right, I seem to recall… nothing great, but it wasn’t horribly broken, either. Not like classic WW mechanics, where being more skilled increased the probability of botching fantastically.
February 7th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Jared: You’re very welcome.
As for Alpha Omega, I haven’t played it yet because I haven’t seen it in stores yet.
However, since I am now an actual no-kidding game columnist/reviewer, I can request a copy of the book for review purposes. I have of course done so.
As soon as I can get my grubby little hands on the book, I’ll be glad to review it for Another Castle.
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[…] where I tell you who I am, the purpose of this column, and what topics I??ll be visiting or avoidinhttp://anothercastle.com/i-attack-the-darkness-the-gaming-pedigree-283.phpRPGnet RPG Game Index: AberrantAberrant White Wolf rpg by Assorted Playtest Review by Thomas […]
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